MUGSHOT MADNESS SPECIAL! SAMANTHA RONSON

YES, we admit it: it is pretty hard to tell which one is the real mugshot. Rich girl DJ Samantha Ronson appears to be playing the rebel (how you do that when you've got a billion bucks behind you, we're not sure) for her mugshot, right, following her drunk driving bust. No fears though. Mummy will ride to the rescue, we're sure.

SAMANTHA RONSON NABBED FOR DRUNK DRIVING

LINDSAY LOHAN'S lesbian ex Samantha Ronson was busted Monday for drunk driving during a midday booze-a-ramma. The untalented rich girl with connections DJ, 33, was driving her black Porsche (we weep for her) when she was pulled over in Baker, California, according to TMZ. The aggressively unattractive heiress flopped her field sobriety test and was arrested. She refused a breathalyzer in the field but agreed to one at a nearby cop shop. She blew over the 0.8 limit. The popular celebrity disc jockey (widely considered to be not terribly good but well connected. Brother is uber producer Mark Ronson; step dad is Mick Jones from Foreigner) was returning home from a gig in Las Vegas when she was nailed. She dated former actress Lohan in 2008. The 53-year-old onetime star said she wanted to concentrate on her "career."

BROKE LINDSAY LOHAN 'CAN'T AFFORD' COUNSELING

BROKE

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan appears to have finally run out of cash.
Ordered by the court to seek counseling the 53-year-old onetime movie star's lawyer Shaun Chapman Holley told the judge she had been forced to stop because she didn't have the cash to carry on.
He said: "She was seeing someone for psychological treatment at UCLA but had to stop for financial reasons."
He added that her Screen Actors Guild coverage has lapsed due to lack of work, which meant that she had no health insurance coverage. Judge Stephanie Sautner didn't seem at all impressed with the star, although she agreed that it was unsuitable for her to go to group counseling because of the risk of her secrets being sold, she gave her 21-days to find a new therapist.

She also suggested she get a loan to pay for it. 

Judge Sautner also seemed unhappy with the progress she was making with her community service as the 'Mean Girls' star has only completed 33 hours of the required 480 she is required to complete in a year's time.  
She's scheduled to return to court on Oct. 19 to give Sautner another update.

LINDSAY LOHAN 'ENJOYED' HOUSE ARREST

ENJOYED HERSELF

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan "enjoyed" being under house arrest because it kept her out of the public eye she said. The troubled party girl, who has astonishingly managed to keep her hands clean since her release said she was grateful as her cushy sentence gave her a chance to stay out of the limelight.
She spent a massive 35 days confined to her Santa Monica home monitored by ankle bracelet, instead of receiving jail time for stealing a $2500 necklace from an upmarket LA Jewelry store and violating the terms of her 2007 conviction for driving under the influence (DUI) last month.
Speaking of her celebrity justice she told Australia's 2DayFM radio station: "I enjoyed it, actually, as I was able to get a lot of work done from home, and it was very nice not to have to worry about cameras being outside."
She also claimed when her ankle bracelet went off during her house arrest it was because of a false alarm.

She explained: "It was actually the people who work with the ankle braces [fault]. The battery had died in the machine, It was a lot of drama for no reason."
Since her release the Mean Girls star has also  started her court ordered 480 hours of community service at the Los Angeles Downtown Women's centre.
And amazingly she cancelled a planned 25th birthday bash, just after her release, choosing instead to spend it with friends and family. 
Lohan is also hoping to continue her acting career and has signed up to appear in 'Gotti: Three Generations', which is due to start shooting next year.

LINDSAY LOHAN TELLS MAG: 'I DIDN'T DESERVE JAIL'

IN AN interview with Italian Vanity Fair, former actress Lindsay Lohan says she didn't deserve to go to jail for her 7 DUI arrest and subsequent probation violations. The onetime movie star told the fawning mag: "Unless you're a killer, I don't see a reason to stay there. I didn't hurt anyone but myself."
And there you have it. But what does the rest of America think?

LINDSAY LOHAN ENDS HOUSE ARREST! P.A.R.T.Y!

LET the celebrations begin! Former actress Lindsay Lohan, 57, is ready to rock and roll again. Her slap on the wrist house arrest finally ended Wednesday.
The onetime movie star breached her probation 17,477 times.
MORE FROM US WEEKLY

LINDSAY LOHAN: I FAILED BOOZE TEST BECAUSE OF "TEA"

MODEL CITIZEN

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan has put on her most unconvincing performance to date by claiming that she failed an alcohol test, because she was "drinking tea".
The onetime movie star has been telling pals that it wasn't beer, wine or liquor and it had nothing to do with the huge party she held the night before at her Venice Beach pad where she is under house arrest.
Instead she's been telling pals that she's been drinking kombucha tea which contains a trace amount of alcohol according to TMZ. 
After her latest court appearance she said: "I am responsible, and I'm following the rules and obeying my judge and the Los Angeles judicial system."

The company that makes the drink reportedly says the alcohol content is less than .05%.
Lohan added, "I'd like to do what I must to get my film career back and the respect of directors, actors, writers, studio heads, fans and so on."

LINDSAY LOHAN 'DIDN'T' VIOLATE PROBATION: JUDGE

ALLOWED TO DRINK

SHE has more lives than.... well we're not sure what, because she's beaten a cat hands down.
Because astonishingly, former actress Lindsay Lohan did not violate her probation and she is legally allowed to drink.
The one time movie star did reportedly fail an alcohol test on June 13, according to TMZ the day after she held a rooftop party at her Venice, CA home - where she was serving hard time her sentence for violating her probation.
But it turns out she shouldn't have been tested at all because it turns out that the order requiring Lohan to submit to alcohol tests expired back in February.
So Judge Stephanie Sautner, who presided over the actress's latest court date Thursday, ruled that Lohan did not violate the terms of her probation in a 2007 DUI case.
She told the idiot star, who at least managed to show up on time: "Having parties on the roof of your house ... is extremely poor judgment."
However, she did rule that Lohan may now have only one friend at her home at a time so no more parties.
Lohan's attorney Shawn Holley said: "She has done nothing wrong."

LINDSAY LOHAN SKATES AGAIN ON LATEST BOOZE BINGE

PM UPDATE: She skates again. And wow, is Samantha Ronson ever unattractive.


UPDATE: Greedy and stupid alert. Lindsay Lohan, step right up. According to the New York Post the delusional former teen star would not do an interview with Matt Lauer on Dateline for less than $100,000. The deal was for $50 big ones. So while he crossed the country and the crew set up Lilo refused to come out of her bedroom. Sweetie, you're not a star. You're a curiosity.
 OH DEAR. Former actress Lindsay Lohan will be in court today. Why oh why you ask? She violated her probation and flunked an alcohol test, Radaronline  reported last night. The onetime movie star turned punchline tested positive for booze sometime "during the past two weeks" the gossip machine reported.
A source told Radar: "The judge in her DUI case ... said she couldn't consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a
report, and Lindsay will be in court."
Will she now get her 3 millionth break thanks to Southern California's celebrity justice system? How many DUIs, probation faux pas, skipped court appearances and drunken escapades is it going to take to sink that broad into the can? She's now locked up in her Venice Beach apartment under house arrest because of "overcrowding" in the theft of a $2500 necklace.
She was sentenced to four months in jail but got celebrity justice house arrest instead because of jail "overcrowding."
Now, Lohan, just days shy of her 25th birthday, must now face the same judge again - the jurist "who lamented in May that she couldn't throw Lohan in jail for pilfering the necklace."

FORMER STAR LINDSAY LOHAN 'BORED AND RESTLESS'

"BORED" AW

FORMER actress Linday Lohan has only been under house arrest for two days but the poor little star is already "bored and restless" friends have revealed. The troubled, one time star began her 120 day sentence for violating her probation yesterday, after miraculously avoiding jail time for stealing a a $2500 necklace from an exclusive LA jewelry store.But it seems she's already moaning about how her situation, sunbathing next to her exclusive Venice Beach pad with a tag on her leg.
A source close to the star revealed: "Lindsay is already upset at having to stay at home all day, unable to go anywhere do anything.
"She's bored and restless and she doesn't know how she's going to cope with almost four months of nothing to do. There's only so many books and TV shows you can watch."
They added: "She is hoping it will give her the chance to relax, take stock of her life and plan her way forward."
According to TMZ Lohan is expected to serve just 35 total days of hard time ... glorious, relaxing, court-ordered hard time.
Hard Life for some, we say. 

LINDSAY LOHAN STARTS SENTENCE FOR JEWELRY THEFT

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan surrendered to authorities yesterday to begin serving time for jewelry theft yesterday.
But thanks to her expensive lawyer and a cushy deal she'll serve her 120 days detained at home rather than going to jail, after pleading no contest to stealing a $2500 necklace from an LA jewelry store.
She was found to be in violation of her probation stemming from a 2007 drunken driving case.
The 24-year-old was booked and fitted for with an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet around 5 a.m, according to a Los Angeles Sheriff's Department news release.
She was later released to begin serving more than a month under house arrest, ending on June 29.

LINDSAY LOHAN'S DOPEY DAD MICHAEL DENIES ASSAULT

CLASSY GUY

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan's father Michael has denied attacking his girlfriend and so called journalist Kate Major during a heated row earlier this year. Following his daughter into the dock, Lohan who is currently estranged from Lindsay is accused of abusing her and stopping her from calling 911. He pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor domestic violence battery Monday in Beverly Hills, on Major, who broke off an engagement to him last year. 
Lohan has a well-documented strained relationship with his daughter, who was at one time a movie star, and a history of arrests in New York after his ex-girlfriends accused him of harassment.
But his record goes as far back as 1990 when he was investigated for insider trading and convicted of criminal contempt of court, because he
refused to testify about other brokers.
He has also been charged with attempted assault and a DUI that led to his being charged with of alcohol and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle.
If convicted, the 51-year-old faces up to one year in the county jail, reports the Los Angeles Times, following his daughter who faces 120 days in the big house for jewelry theft.
He was released after making a bail of $200,000.

LINDSAY LOHAN 'FRIGHTENED' OF OBSESSED STALKER

THIEF

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan has taken out a restraining order against her last friend crazy stalker after he left chocolates at her house and sent bizarre text messages saying they are engaged.
David Corcodan, 38, has been contacting her for almost two years, court documents show, sending more then 100 texts including one describing in graphic detail having sex with the actress.
Another showed that he was in the courtroom last month when the 24-year-old actress was sentenced to 120 days in jail.
“Given this obsessive and harassing behavior, I am frightened of Mr. Cocordan and feel that my personal safety, and the safety of those around me, is in jeopardy,” Lohan said in the legal filing.
Cocordan, who police believe is a schizophrenic and is not taking
medication, has told authorities he does not intend to contest the restraining order, according to court filings. 
So  Superior Court Judge David Cowan granted a temporary order stopping him from attempting to meet or contact the actress.
He will then consider whether to issue a three-year stay away order on June 8.
Lohan herself is no stranger to a courtroom at the moment and is currently performing 480 hours of community service for violating her probation in a 2007 drunken driving case.
She is also expected to serve jail time for taking a $2,500 necklace from a store near her Venice home in January.

LINDSAY LOHAN SCOT FREE DESPITE 120 DAY SENTENCE

THIEF

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan could end up serving no jail time, despite being handed a 120 day sentence for the theft of a necklace.
Instead it looks like the troubled Hollywood hellraiser will spend the majority of her sentence in her Venice CA home because of jail overcrowding. A spokesman for LA County Sheriff's, Steve Whitmore said a 120-day sentence would be reduced to 71 days because of good behavior, and to about 16 or 17 days because of overcrowding. Electronic monitoring, if approved, would be for the shorter period. He told the LA Times: "It appears a person like Ms.
Lohan will be eligible for home detention," noting that she is a nonviolent offender without a serious criminal history.
Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner refused to be drawn on where Lohan should serve her time.
But she also placed Lohan on three years' probation and required her to attend a shoplifting offender's program and receive psychological counseling.
The actress must also complete 480 hours of community service at the Downtown Women's Center on skid row and at the county coroner's office - although she will not be eligible to do this, if she is serving time at home.
The 120-day jail term is the same sentence she received for violating probation on her 2007 drunk-driving conviction.
She will serve the sentences concurrently, Sautner said.

LINDSAY LOHAN TO PLEAD NO CONTEST TO THEFT

THIEF

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan has finally decided to help herself in her theft case and will plead "no contest" in court.
The troubled one-time film star, accused od stealing a $2500 necklace from an upscale Venice Beach store had initially fought the accusations.  
But a Los Angeles superior court judge in March imposed a 120-day sentence, while reducing the charge against Lohan from felony grand theft to a misdemeanor.
She added that she thought the actress had intentionally taken the $2,500 necklace from an upscale Venice Beach store and shown poor judgment in not trying to return it until police got involved.
Lilo was freed after posting $75,000 bail.
Now she will plead "no contest" to the charges which is not an admission of guilt, but in many courts they have the same effect as a guilty plea
Los Angeles sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore told CNN that Lohan would likely serve no more than two weeks in jail.