SAMANTHA RONSON NABBED FOR DRUNK DRIVING

LINDSAY LOHAN'S lesbian ex Samantha Ronson was busted Monday for drunk driving during a midday booze-a-ramma. The untalented rich girl with connections DJ, 33, was driving her black Porsche (we weep for her) when she was pulled over in Baker, California, according to TMZ. The aggressively unattractive heiress flopped her field sobriety test and was arrested. She refused a breathalyzer in the field but agreed to one at a nearby cop shop. She blew over the 0.8 limit. The popular celebrity disc jockey (widely considered to be not terribly good but well connected. Brother is uber producer Mark Ronson; step dad is Mick Jones from Foreigner) was returning home from a gig in Las Vegas when she was nailed. She dated former actress Lohan in 2008. The 53-year-old onetime star said she wanted to concentrate on her "career."

DANIELLE JOHNSEN'S LESBIAN TRYSTS WITH GIRL, 16

NOT EXACTLY AS SHOWN

 PORN PLOT alert! A sexy New York Catholic high school science (biology?) teacher has been busted by cops for having sexual contact with a 16-year-old sophomore. According to cops, the sizzling Sapphic affair came to light after stunning brunette Danielle Johnsen allegedly broke the teen's heart following hijinks at Notre Dame Academy--an all-girls academy. Teacher says school girl made it up. The New York Daily News says Johnsen has taught at the private school for three
years. She was charged with one count of third-degree sexual abuse and three counts of acting in a manner injurious to a child. 
The charges stem from three steamy makeout sessions Johnsen allegedly had with the student earlier this year. Two of them took place in Johnsen's car, they said, and the third happened at the teacher's home on Staten Island. The hot-to-trot educator allegedly romanced the teen and then her, ahem, hand to do the dirty on the girl. But the Daily News says Johnsen suddenly came to her senses and broke it off.
Our heartbroken teen was devastated and like many of her peers went straight to Tumblr to blog about it. A guidance teacher was tipped off and that was all she wrote.

SOUTH PARK NUT ISAIAH KALEBU BARRED FROM TRIAL

A MAN'S TRIAL for rape and murder had to take place without him present in court l after he repeatedly disrupted proceedings with profane outbursts. Isaiah Kalebu, 25,  from the South Park area Seattle, was removed from the courtroom  and restrained in a different room in the courthouse.  King County Superior Court Judge Michael Hayden took the unusual action when Kelebu ignored directions to remain silent during proceedings and continually yelled expletives.
Crazy Kalebu was able to watch the trial via
closed circuit TV.  He is charged with aggravated murder, attempted murder, rape and burglary in what prosecutors are calling a random attack.  Kalebu is accused of raping Teresa Butz and her partner over a two-hour period before slashing their throats.  Butz, who died in the attack managed to create a diversion that enabled her partner to escape.  Her dying words to neighbours who found her were, "he told us if we did what he asked us to do, he wouldn't hurt us. He lied, he lied."