RENO MEN MAY BE BEHIND 13 CHICAGO SLAYINGS

TOSCANO, SEGURA-RODRIGUEZ

CHICAGO COPS say they've stumbled across two stone-cold killers who may be responsible for more than a dozen slayings in the Windy City. According to cops, two gunsels were nabbed while another was gunned down fleeing the scene of a double murder.
The slayings were part of bloody fake dope deals that turned into heists.
Cops killed Arturo Ibarra, 37, Saturday night after two people were found killed and a third seriously injured in a North Side apartment. A cop suffered a leg wound.

ACCORDING TO THE CHICAGO SUN TIMES: The suspect, Ibarra and the two men had been under surveillance for months, suspected of being part of a crew that had set up fake cocaine deals of $100,000 or more, according to a source. When the buyer or buyers showed up, they would be robbed and killed, sources said.

 The three, who worked for a home remodeling business, are suspected in at least 13 murders, including a quadruple slaying Sept. 2 in the 6100 block of South Kildare, said sources. Noel Casares, Alonso Villarreal, Roberto Rivera and Luis Santillian were found bound and shot in the head in a garage there. One source said they are suspected in the deaths of three men found inside a car last spring in the 2300 block of W. 36th Street.

SUN TIMES HAS MORE 

FACES OF METH: JUST SAY 'YUCK!'

ALRIGHT, we can all say 'Yuck'. In just two and a half years the woman on the left came to look like the woman on the right. Vanity aside, using crystal meth does perplex us. Could it be the ingredients? Battery acid is not something we'd like anywhere near us. This gal and others are part of the "Faces of Meth" campaign illustrating the drug's consequences.

PARTY GIRL HID IN EVERGREEN TO ESCAPE DUI RAP

PARTY GIRL

YOU have to hand it to Christine Stroh. The party girl par excellence is nothing if not resourceful. The 21-year-old was being chased Saturday by the highway cops when she decided to flee her MOVING 1998 Pontiac Sunfire (party girl car of choice.) The two passengers, needless to say, were shocked but the car crashed safely into a snowbank.
According to State Trooper Jeremy Rost our heroine "then fled on foot to a nearby evergreen tree" and "was laying in the thick evergreen trees and refused to come out."
 But when she heard more coppers coming she tried to split the scene on foot. Sadly, the party girl "lost her high heels and was running barefoot on the ice. She slipped and was taken into custody." Now the bad part: she was taken into custody with a goodtime topping .177
blood alcohol content--twice the legal limit. Let's see: reckless endangerment, fleeing, driving under suspension (saucy.) Oh, and toss in drunk driving.

CALI COPS NAME SUSPECT IN '78 COLD CASE SLAY

IT WAS supposed to be a celebration. Instead, it ended in murder. Now, nearly 33 years later, cops finally have a suspect in the vicious murder of Brent Stapleton Tobey.
On Nov. 20, 1978, Tobey was supposed to be celebrating the conviction of the man who murdered his friend. Tobey and another pal had discovered the body and at first, cops thought the cases were connected.
Now, tracking a DNA sample that had been submitted in 2002, Laguna Beach, California police have identified a suspect: Walter Dalie, now 52, serving a life sentence in Connecticut for murdering his girlfriend. Cops wouldn't comment about motive but ruled out any link to the murder of Tobey's pal.

Tobey was found stabbed several times in the head and upper body in his home at 1320 Carmelita St. by a friend. At the time, detectives had questioned his roommate and looked at any possible connection to the previous homicide. That road lead to Nowheresville. Dalie told Cali cops he knew Tobey at the time of the slaying.
MORE IN THE OC REGISTER

EL CONDOR SHOT DOWN - DRUG KINGPIN DEAD

Condor

Cops

EL CONDOR, one of Mexico's top drug kingpins has been killed in a running gun battle with cops, authorities said.  
Luis Humberto Peralta Hernandez, 44 was believed to a top figure in the Juarez drug cartel who's deadly rivalry with the Sinaloa cartel has led to thousands of death in the Northern part of the country.
He had been accused of involvement in nearly 100 murders, was carrying false ID, which delayed identification of the body.

Three people alleged to be accomplices were arrested and have been taken to the capital, Mexico City, for questioning.
There have been more than 34,000 drug-related killings in the country since 2006, when President Philipe Calderon launched a huge crackdown against the drug cartels.
The Juarez cartel is behind many of the recent gruesome executions and decapitations in Ciudad Juarez.
There were more than 3,000 murders in 2010, making it Mexico's deadliest city by far.

The activities of the Juarez cartel, also known as the Carrillo Fuentes Organisation, are said by prosecutors to extend to controlling many of the drug smuggling routes from Mexico into the US.

BARBIE BANDIT BIMBO BACK BEHIND BARS

Robbery

Now

BARBIE bandit Ashley Nicole Miller is back behind bars for violating her probation.
Together with Heather Lyn Johnson, she gained national attention when they were seen laughing on surveillance video as they robbed nearly $11,000 from a bank teller, who was later shown to be part of the scheme.

The pair blew their cash on an enormous shopping spree, before being caught and convicted.
Miller who was sentenced to two years behind bars and eight year probation has now violated that after being arrested on a battery charge.   The incident happened outside Club Bella, a popular nightclub in Gwinnett County, MO.  

SICKOS PAID TO TORTURE DISABLED SEX SLAVE

Evil

PROSECUTORS have described the case as "one of the most horrific" ever to be seen in Western Missouri - men paying to torture a mentally ill young woman who was being kept as a sex slave.
James Noel, 45, this week admitted he paid money to shock the 25-year-old with an electrical device, even though she complained that it was painful. 
The 45-year-old pleaded guilty Monday in U.S. District Court in Kansas City to one count of conspiracy to commit sex trafficking by force, fraud or coercion.
As part of the plea, Noel agreed to cooperate with the government and testify in court against four other men facing federal charges in the case. 
The alleged "mastermind" of the operation, Edward "Master Ed" Bagley, is accused of branding, torturing and sexually abusing the mentally disabled woman over a period of five years at a Lebanon, MO, trailer home.
The indictment against him alleges that he met the woman when she was a 16-year-old runaway and persuaded her to move into his trailer with promises of a "great life" and a future as a model and dancer.
Instead he began giving her drugs, showing her pornography and sexually abusing her.
Then when she turned 18, he persuaded her to sign a 'sex slave contract," which he said bound her to him for life.
He then "beat, whipped, flogged, suffocated, choked, electrocuted, caned, skewered, drowned, mutilated, hung and caged" the girl "to coerce her to become a 'sex slave,'" the indictment says.
He also tied her up and hung her in the air, locked her in a dog cage and used staples, nails and a sewing needle and thread during torture sessions.
Six-years ago he began to boast online that the girl was his slave and could be tortured during online sessions or in person.
So Noel gave Bagley cash, cigarettes, computer equipment, sadomasochism videos, coats and meat in exchange for access to the girl, the indictment says.
If she cried out or tried to stop the torture, it only got worse, prosecutors said. Bagley threatened her by claiming to have buried other bodies behind his trailer home and shooting animals that she cared for in front of her, prosecutors said.
Charges are also pending against Dennis Henry, 50 and Michael Stokes, 62 according to St. Louis Today.
As part of the plea, Noel agreed to cooperate with the government and testify in court.
Noel admitted that he shocked the woman using an electrical device, even though she had complained that it was painful.
Noel's attorney and federal prosecutors declined to comment after the hearing.

AMBER PORTWOOD NUDE PIC SHOCKER

MOM OF THE YEAR

NUDE photo's have surfaced of Teen Mom Amber Portwood, which could land the troubled star in yet more trouble.
Already facing charges of domestic assault against her daughter's Leah's father Gary Shirley, the 17-year-old who hit the headlines by appearing on the MTV show now fears social services could get involved because of the pictures seen here on Radar Online.
They show the young mother, who has a hideous tattoo of her baby on her midriff, in a variety of nude poses.
According to the Daily Mail, said in a statement that the pictures were "stolen" by "someone I trusted."
She said: "It makes me sad that anyone would do this, and I'm horrified that something so private is being shared publicly."
It's just another drama for the pugnacious teen mother, who maintains her
innocence against the assault charges which aired on her MTV show even though the footage appears to show otherwise.
She is facing up to three years in jail and a $10,000 fine if convicted.

ARE BONES IN PEDO'S PAD KIDS MISSING SINCE 1962?

NEVER FOUND

TWO CHILDREN missing for nearly 50 years. The kind of case that haunts detectives til they die. But for one cop, a resolution may be near.

HAUNTED

Last Wednesday, workers found bones beneath a demolished house in Onslow County, North Carolina. The house had been owned by a convicted child molester named Henry Hunt, who died in 1991. He was 85.
Former Sheriff Ed Brown hopes the bones are those of Diana Moon Yoli, 7, and her brother Mark Eugene Yoli, 3. They have been missing since Sept. 13, 1962.
According to ENC TODAY: On her deathbed in 1992, Hunt’s wife told her daughter that Hunt had picked up the two children in Midway Park and later dumped their bodies in a mine near Maysville.

“I’ve read about miracles in the Bible, I believe in miracles, and I believe it would take a miracle to ever find the remains of these children,” Brown said at the time.

Detectives believed the two tragic children would remain where there killer buried them.

ENC TODAY REPORTS: In 1962, Brown, a high school student, was fond of a girl who lived on Pony Farm Road. The girl’s neighborhood, like many others, had one yard you didn’t go in and one man you didn’t talk to — in this case it was Hunt. When the Yoli children went missing in September 1962, search efforts centered on the Midway Park housing area and the surrounding swamp. Although base housing was 13 miles from Hunt’s Pony Farm Road house, Brown always wondered whether the man was involved.

The old detective remembered a German Shepherd  trying to dig beneath Hunt’s home but without probable cause, Brown couldn’t search Hunt’s home.

With Hunt’s wife’s 1992 deathbed revelation, Brown learned what the pedophile had told her years earlier. The sex monster said he picked up the Yoli children and took them fishing. He said the boy accidentally drowned and he killed the girl in a panic.

Brown said he didn’t believe the drowning story at all.

“This man had no business with these children at all,” he said. “It was clearly an abduction and murder.”

About 10 years ago, Brown began to keep track of who owned Hunt’s old house.

“The house became the haunt for me,” Brown said. “I wanted to know. I feel it has been resolved for me either way. I have thought about this a long time, but wasn’t sure we’d ever know for sure if the children were here or not.”

EX-FLA. MADD BOSS BUSTED FOR BOOZIN' 'N CRUISIN'

DRINKY POO?

OH, the bitter irony. The former president of the now mams up Gainesville, Florida chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) has been busted for...you guessed it! Drunk driving.
Debra Oberlin, 48, was pinched Feb. 18 as she drove erratically, cops say. They noted that familiar odor of booze and the come hither bloodshot eyes. Just four beers officer, honest. Her breath alochol tests registered .234 and .239. Legal is .08. As for for MADD, well, they're ANGGRY.

"MADD is concerned to hear about the recent alleged drunk driving arrest of Debra Oberlin. MADD commends law enforcement for their efforts to keep our roads safe and are hopeful that no one was hurt as a result of this incident. In 2009 alone, nearly 11,000 lives were lost
due to drunk driving and another 400,000 people were injured in alcohol-related crashes in the U.S. It is our hope that this recent occurrence will serve as a reminder to others to plan ahead for a safe ride if their plans include alcohol."

DAD KEPT TORTURED SON CHAINED IN LAUNDRY ROOM

DEAR OLD DAD

FATHER OF THE YEAR contender Hugo Dominguez is up to his eyeballs in woe. It seems that Hugo, 38, like many other dads has problems with his teenage boy. Other dads might ground them. Take away the car. Not our Hugo.
Not of this sparing the rod nonsense for him. The suburban Chicago man routinely chained his 13-year-old son to a dryer and viciously beat him with bamboo scratchers, yardsticks, a broken axe handle and anything else that was available. Worse, Hug's girlfriend also helped out.
Headcase Hugo admitted he kept the boy locked up in the laudry
room while he and Mary Ramirez slept. They would unchain the boy in the morning and allow him to go to school.

ACCORDING TO THE CHICAGO SUN TIMES, the boy also told cops he father stabbed him with a knife. School officials ratted super dad out.
The teenager now has a large laceration to his left elbow, bruising on a large portion of both arms and lash marks on his lower and middle back and lower legs, prosecutors said.

CHILD KILLER TELLS JUDGE: "I DESERVE TO DIE"

Killer

THE  man who raped and killed a seven-year-old Arizona girl has told a judge: "I deserve to die." Loretto "Kyle" Alegria, 21, beat and stabbed Rhia Almeida who was at his house for a play-date with Alegria's little brother back in June 2009.
Offered a plea agreement he told the judge "I don't deserve to live. I deserve the max."
Pima County Superior Court Judge Deborah Bernini tried to reason with him asking, "Don't you think life in prison is punishment enough?"
Alegria shook his head no, according to The Arizona Daily Star.
Judge Deborah Bernini pleaded with the killer to sign a plea agreement, agreeing to life imprisonment for the heinous killing, telling him that he was making it worse not only for Almeida's family, but also his own family, which includes his 10-year-old brother, by going through a lengthy trial.
Alegria still didn't budge, insisting he was still not going to sign the agreement, which will force a six week court case in April.
"I deserve the max," he said.

VOODOO SEX CANDLES TRIGGERED FATAL FIRE

Voodoo

VOODOO sex ceremony candles caused a fire that swept through a New York apartment block killing a women. 
Fire marshals said a woman paid $300 a man known in Brooklyn as a voodoo priest to bring her good luck.
He performed a ceremony which involved the man and woman having sex in a bed surrounded by candles. 
Those candles set fire to the linens and clothes on the floor, a Fire Department of New York spokesman said. 
But instead of calling 911, the man conducting the ceremony tried in vain to douse the flames with water.

Another person then opened the front door to try and let the smoke out but instead an  FDNY statement said it: "shot the flames back inside, creating a blowtorch effect as winds whipped in through the open window and pushed fire out into the hallway." 
When the people in the apartment ran out, they left the door open, fire officials said. Flames quickly spread to the fourth, fifth and sixth floors, causing part of the roof and fourth floor to collapse, the FDNY said.
Mary Feagin, 64, who lived on the sixth floor, died in the fire, and at least 20 firefighters and three other people were hurt, the FDNY said.
Nearly 200 firefighters from 44 companies spent almost seven hours bringing the fire under control, the fire department said.

NAKED JOYRIDER WASN'T EMBAR-ASS-ED WHEN BUSTED

Butt Officer

NAKED joyriders gave a Nebraska deputy the surprise of his life when he pulled them over late Saturday.
Four naked people in the pickup that he'd just pulled over.
There's no law against driving in the buff, as long you don't alarm people, he picked up the driver for - yes you guessed it - being intoxicated. 
The sheriff's office says the truck wreaked of booze when he approached the vehicle which contained two nude men and two nude women.

 When asked by the deputy what they were doing, one man reportedly answered, "I think we're getting in trouble."

Driver, Nickolus Borgman certainly was and he was cited for driving under
the influence, having an open container in the car, no seat belts and for having too many people in the front seat of his pickup.
It's a good thing there's no law against chafing.

TODDLER RAPED AT SEA WORLD AS MOM ENJOYED RIDE

Disgusting

A DISGUSTING pedophile viciously raped a toddler at Sea World and took pictures of the attack on his cellphone, Cops say.
The child's distraught mother said she left the child at the Orlando theme park with with Michael Grzybowicz for about 10-minutes while she and her boyfriend went on a ride.
But rather than look after the tot he viciously raped her.
Pictures of the alleged rape were found on Grzybowicz’ phone and sent to his e-mail account, the sheriff's office said.
Records state that four photographs in the phone's memory chip showed the violation of the youngster wearing a diaper and a yellow sun dress while she rode in a dark blue stroller.
Grzybowicz told investigators that he didn't know how the photos got onto his cell phone, according to The Orlando Sentinel.

Sea World said in a statement: "Nothing is more important than the safety and welfare of our guests, and our team members are trained to report any kind of suspicious behavior. Illegal behavior of any type is not tolerated at our parks. Our thoughts are with the family at this very difficult time." A warrant indicates Grzybowicz faces charges of sexual battery and lascivious molestation on a child younger than 12.

SEX FIEND SOCCER MOM POACHED DAUGHTER'S BOY, 14

Likes Em Young

A SOCCER mom who had sex with at least two underage boys - including her daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend - is expected to serve at least five years in jail.
Christine Hubbs, 42,  had sex with the boys everywhere from parking lots, inside her Hummer and fueled the affairs with money, dinners cell phones and video games for the boys.
The charges against her include oral copulation, lewd act on a child and exhibition of lewd material on her daughter's boyfriend when he was just 14.
She also started an affair with another boy the same age for a month.

The allegations came to light when the mother of one of the boys reportedly found a nude picture of Hubbs on the boy's cell phone
The mother of three will now have to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life because of her plea of no contest to one count of unlawful sex with a minor and three counts of lewd acts with a child.
Prosecutors dropped 63 other felony sex counts and several misdemeanor counts in exchange for her plea and she will be sentenced on March 25.

WANNABE JIHADI GETS 25 FOR SOUTH PARK THREATS

WHERE IT STARTED

HE couldn't take a joke. A 21-year-old man with far too little to worry about has been sentenced to 25 years in jail after posting online death threats against the creators of TV cartoon South Park.
Zachary Adam Chesser incited violent jihadists to attack the sometimes controversial show's writers for an episode depicting the Prophet Mohammed in a bear suit, court documents said.The humorless headcase posted messages online that included the writer's home addresses and urged fellow travelers to pay them a
visit.

"I accept full responsibility for all of my actions, and I would like to take the opportunity to express remorse," he said in court.

Prosecutors were not moved and said Chesser's actions caused people to fear expressing their opinions--a cornerstone of American libertuy.

U.S. Attorney Neil MacBride said: "The fact that a young man from Northern Virginia could support such violence and terror is a sobering reminder of the serious threat that homegrown jihadists pose to this country."

He pleaded guilty in October to providing material support to terrorists, communicating threats and soliciting others to threaten violence.Chesser converted to Islam in high school.

OHIO COPS BUST SUSPECT IN DRUG EXECUTIONS

TRAGIC LOVERS

COPS IN Ohio have arrested the suspected triggerman in a cold-blooded executions of a young couple. Cops say James P. Leider, 20, has been charged with two counts of aggravated murder and could face the death penalty.

Betheny Mehall, 25, and her boyfriend, Cord Cox, 23, were found shot to death Sunday in a running car in an industrial park near Geneva, Ohio. Police sources told local reporters that drugs were the motivation for the crime and that
Leider and Cox had known each other for several years.
Detectives believe Mehall was an innocent bystander who was murdered to guarantee her silence.

DEATH ROW BOUND?

According to cops, each victim died of a single gunshot to the head, probably Saturday night. A motorist discovered the bodies Sunday. Both had their seat belts on the car was running.
 Mehall had a 4-year-old son and both victims were in nursing programs at separate schools.

DID INTERNET "DR DEATH" DRIVE THEM TO SUICIDE?

DR DEATH

DRIVEN TO DEATH?

THE man dubbed "Dr Death" for scouring the Internet and encouraging suicidal people to kill themselves has denied that he had any impact on their deaths.
William Melchert-Dinkel, 48, has pleaded not guilty to two counts of aiding suicide in the deaths of an English man and a Canadian woman.
Prosecutors say the ex-nurse from Faribault, was obsessed with suicide and hanging and that he sought out potential victims on the Internet. 
Posing as a woman in chat room and e-mails he then played the role of a compassionate friend, offering step by step instructions on how they could kill themselves.  
He's charged in the 2005 hanging death of British man Mark Drybrough, 32, from Coventry, England, and the 2008 death of Kajouji, 18, of Brampton, Ontario, who jumped into a frozen river.
Rice County Attorney Paul Beaumaster said: "These individuals were fragile people. It was the defendant who was suggesting a long-term solution to a short-term problem."
Melchert-Dinkel agreed that he entered into fake suicide pacts with about 10 people, five of whom he believed killed themselves. 
But his attorney, Terry Watkins, said that while his client's online activities were "creepy" and "abhorrent," they don't constitute a crime and had no impact on the eventual suicides. 
He said: "That minimal communication did nothing, did nothing, to change the acts that had already been put in motion," Watkins said.
"It is not against the law to say, 'I understand, hun, I understand.'"
But The prosecutor said the evidence showed "beyond a reasonable doubt" that he intentionally encouraged both people to kill themselves and he aided in Drybrough's suicide.
Court documents show Drybrough posted a message in a chat room, asking if anyone had instructions on how to hang oneself without access to something high. 
He began receiving e-mails containing detailed instructions from Melchert-Dinkel, who was using the name "Li dao." 
In the Canada case, evidence shows Kajouji went online March 1, 2008, saying she wanted to commit suicide but was afraid of failing. 
Five days later, she participated in online chats with "Cami" -- who prosecutors say was actually Melchert-Dinkel. During the chats, Kajouji said she planned to jump into a river the following Sunday, and Cami said if that didn't work, they would hang themselves together that Monday. 
Kajouji disappeared March 9, 2008. Her body was found six weeks later.
The trial continues.

WISC. SERIAL KILLER ELLIS GETS 7 LIFE SENTENCES

HE'S AS bad as they come. Meet Walter Ellis. The Badger State killing machine. Yesterday, Ellis pleaded no contest to killing seven women over a period of 21 years. He received seven life terms--no parole. From 1986 to 2007, he was on the rampage strangling women in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area.

"He won't look at me. He can't look at me because when he sees her he sees me. When he killed her, he killed me. 'Cause she looks just like me," said Tina Lewis, mother of Ouithrean Stokes.

 Detectives are now also reviewing every homicide case in the Milwaukee area over last 20 years.
MORE ON THE EVIL CRIMES OF WALTER ELLIS

NATALIE'S MOM HOSTING CRIME REALITY SHOW

THE SHOCKING disappearance of Natalie Holloway in 2005 on the idyllic Caribbean island of Aruba has gripped Americans since the terrible news broke. Now, Lifetime Network has announced that it is developing a sequel to their 2009 telefilm called "Justice for Natalee Holloway." The movie stars Tracy Pollan as Beth Holloway. It takes place several years after the first movie as Beth tries to discover what happened to her daughter, who disappeared on a high school trip. On the fifth anniversary of her disappearance, her suspected killer, twisted Dutch playboy Joran van der Sloot (whose father was a judge on the island) is arrested for murder in Peru.
Holloway is also working on a 10-part reality series called "Vanished With Beth Holloway." In the show she interviews relatives of murder victims.

EVIL MOM TELLS DEATH PENALTY JURY: 'I'M READY TO DIE'

TWISTED TORTURE MOM Angela McAnulty told an Oregon death penalty jury deciding her fate she's at peace--whatever their decision. And they decided she should die.
 The mother from hell pleaded guilty to aggravated murder in the sickening death of her daughter, Jeanette Maples, 15. She faces execution or life in prison. The shocking slaying stunned even veteran detectives as the court heard witness after detail a catalog of horror.

The young girl was mutilated, tortured, starved and tormented beyond belief. The young girl tried to survive by stealing food from the kitchen, drinking water from the toilet bowl. And she slept on a piece of cardboard--so her blood wouldn't stain the floor.

"I am very sorry for hurting my daughter in a very bad way," McAnulty told the jury and apologizing to detectives who busted her. "I want you to know I did wrong, and I am at peace with your decision."

Prosecutor JoAnne Miller was having none of it.

"We're not talking about an angry drunk," Miller said. "We are talking about a cool-headed killer."

Defense attorney Ken Hadley offered the jury another way to view McAnulty:
McAnulty grew up in an environment where starvation and beatings were inflicted on children as punishment.
MORE IN THE REGISTER-GUARD

FORMER MOVIE STAR RANDY QUAID: CANADIAN, EH

Canada's Problem

FILM nutter star Randy Quaid will be allowed to stay in Canada after border authorities dropped  inadmissibility proceedings against him. 
His wife Evi, whose father was born in Canada, was granted citizenship earlier this month and she can now sponsor the actor as an immigrant.   
The actor told a press conference: "When Evi and I came to Canada last October we could never have envisioned how things would unfold and how our lives would change.
"Today we're here to say thank you Canada. Thank you for your warm welcome. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to live in
peace."
The pair applied for refugee status in October, claiming they were being persecuted in the U.S. and were possible targets of so-called "Hollywood star-whackers" who were bent on killing actors.
Evi Quaid said friends such as actors David Carradine and Heath Ledger were "murdered" under mysterious circumstances and she was worried something would happen to her husband.
They also failed to appear at a hearing in Santa Barbara, Calif. on felony burglary and misdemeanor charges which stem from accusations they allegedly squatted in the guest house of a home they used to own.
Canadians weren't exactly delighted that the pair were going to join their country however.
One, Steven Michael O'Grady, said: "Those guy's are nuts. Why would we want them here?"

W***ER EJACULATES INTO CO-WORKERS WATER

W***er

A MAN who secretly ejaculated into an  co-worker's water bottle and then left it for her to drink from has been told to expect jail. 
Michael Kevin Lallana's victim named only as Tiffany G left her water bottle on her desk one Friday last January. 
When she returned to Newport's Northwestern Mutual Financial Network office the following Monday, she took a swig and noticed a foul taste that seemed like semen, so she threw out the bottle.
A few months later she again tasted semen in her water but Orange Police told her they couldn't open an investigation on speculation of a crime. 
So she took the bottle to a laboratory to have it tested.
The results revealed the horrible truth -someone had ejaculated in her drink.
Orange detectives started questioning the company's employees. 
Lallana eventually admitted that he put his semen in the water bottle because "her lips had touched" it.
He told Cops interviewing him: "I saw her water bottle and I did it. For me, it's a release. I think about my wife."
He added that he found Tiffany attractive.
He said: "It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone."
The jury didn't see it that way however, convicting him of two counts of misdemeanor battery and they found true a sentencing enhancement allegation that Michael Kevin Lallana committed the crime for sexual gratification.
He faces up to a year in jail when he's sentenced in April.

PIG DECAPITATED BECAUSE OF REDNECK BREAKUP

MEET Ashley Fowler, who was so pig sick that her friend got dumped by the redneck in this video that she decapitated his piglets:

Police haven't said anything about a motive, but this loser guy who is apparently one of the owners of the pigs is saying the woman was allegedly retaliating over a breakup.
So scared is he of crazy Ashley that he didn't want to reveal his identity.
But he told WKTR: "The girl I broke up with, her friend is crazy as sin," he said.
"If you do seditious stuff like that, you need to go to jail and spend a lot of time in there."
Though the owner had only the pigs for a few months, as a pig farmer, he's upset someone messed with his property.
He says, "It's better the law catch her than I do, because I'm pretty fired up about it. And I'd want to take it into my own hands, but I can't because then I'd go to jail too. I don't want to go to jail for something they done."
Aside from the two felony counts, Fowler is also charged with vandalism and possession of prescription drugs.

PRIEST STALKING GRANNY BUSTED

Pest

A PRIEST stalking granny who "made monkey faces" at men of the cloth has been busted by Florida Cops. 
Dorothy Jones Scalise, 70,  has made life a misery for a number a number of clergymen over the years, but the current apple of her eye is 93-year-old Father Edward Konopka.
Father Konopka said Scalise  frequently gets tossed out of Catholic churches.
He said: "She would go to the organ and take over the organ, or she would sit in the second or fourth pew and make monkey faces.
He added: "She's getting ready for something to end this thing. She's been in every parish on University and kicked out of the parish. They carry her out like a sack of potatoes. Between us, she's out to do something, this is the end."
Konopka added that he would have to avoid Scalise, as he exited his apartment in the mornings. 
He recalled: "She would sit on that second or third step with a pot of coffee and Dunkin Donuts waiting for me to come out to her. Three to four times a week, and sit on those yellow stones over there and just taunt me."
Neighbors also said they have seen the woman in the area acting erratic. "She used to come here with a wig, and she used to scream and carry on," Sandra Jarvis said.
Bond court Judge John Hurley ordered a psychological evaluation of Scalise. "You are not allowed to come within 500 feet of Father Konopka, do you understand that?"
The 70-year-old woman responded, "Your honor, the pleasure is all mine."
Scalise was released to home confinement Friday after she was charged with misdemeanor stalking.

FORMER UFC CHAMP GETS 25 FOR RAPE

Ultimate Loser

FORMER UFC welterweight champion Jeremy Jackson has been sentenced to 25-years for repeatedly raping his ex-girlfriend during a botched robbery attempt.Jackson, who also starred in "The Ultimate Fighter 4" broke into her house and attempted to rob it.
But when she caught him, he held her down and raped her twice. 
Ventura county prosecutor Thomas Dunlevy said there was ample evidence to convict him of his crimes, including surveillance footage and a recorded call between Jackson and his ex-girlfriend in which the fighter admits to planning the attack.
According to the The Ventura County Star there also were also a series of text messages to the victim of an erratic and threatening nature.

During her testimony, the victim said Jackson had threatened, intimidated and raped her on June 28, 2008. She said Jackson put a gun to her head, which prosecutors say was a BB gun.

Arrested in June 2008 he was originally charged with seven felony
offenses, including kidnapping to commit another crime, first-degree residential burglary, assault with a firearm, dissuading a witness by force or threat, and criminal threats.

Against his lawyer's advice The 28-year-old, pleaded guilty in 2010 to charges that he raped his ex-girlfriend during an attempted burglary.

RAPIST TRIED TO HIRE HITMAN ON FACEBOOK

A RAPIST who tired to hire a hitman on Facebook to kill his petrified victim has been sent down.
Corey Christian Adams, 19, met his intoxicated victim at a party and offered to drive her home, when she blacked out. 
She woke to find Adams allegedly cutting her pants leg of with a knife and raping her, even though she told him “no.”
But when the brave girl reported the incident to police, and borough Detective Stan Billie instituted a series of taped telephone calls between Adams and the woman.
After the first conversation, during which the woman confronted Adams by asking him why he raped her, Adams reportedly posted a message on his Facebook page asking for help in dealing with the woman and her allegations against him.
He wrote: “I got 500 on a girls head who wants that bread? Hit me up anyway possible.”
Posing as a hitman Detective Billie arranged to meet him, but Adam's didn't go through with it, instead going back on Facebook with another message.  
He said he: “needed this girl knocked off right now,” Billie testified.
Corey Christian Adams, 19, of West Chester accepted a plea offer with a sentence of 11-to-22 years in a state prison, followed by three years of probation, on charges of rape, criminal solicitation of murder, unlawful restraint and possession of an instrument of crime.
First Assistant District Attorney Patrick Carmody, who prosecuted the case, said after the proceeding before Judge Phyllis Streitel that he admired the victim for her perseverance in the months since she was attacked and then threatened with fatal retaliation.
He said: “I specifically want to point out the courage of the young lady involved. The defendant’s stupid decision to post a message on Facebook (seeking a hit man) should not overshadow the horror that was caused by the crimes he committed. She showed a lot of courage in going through this.”

JURY WANTS DEATH FOR DELAWARE COP KILLER

SPICER AND DAUGHTER

DEATH

A JURY wants a Delaware cop killer to get the needle. The jury deliberated for two hours before recommending that Derrick Powell, 24, of Cumberland, Maryland take the journey on the gurney. Powell shot to death Patrolman Chad Spicer in his police cruiser in 2009. Powell and two other suspects were fleeing a drug heist gone awry. Cops say Powell shot at a drug dealer he was trying to rob outside a fast food restaurant. Defence said he shouldn't be executed because he is brain-damaged and the "victim of chronic child abuse."

Outside court, a van driver yelled: “You should hang him.”

Spicer’s mother, Ruth Ann Spicer told reporters: “We’re just satisfied knowing justice was served,” she said. “I don’t think the word is closure; we will never be the same.”

 A judge will decide May 20 whether Powell will make the trip to oblivion.

WOMAN SCRAMBLES RIVAL AT MASS. DENNY'S

DON'T GET in the way of a girl and her Denny's Grand Slam. Things quickly unraveled at a Denny's in Chicopee, Massachusetts and these two women went at it. Not much more to say.

COMPLICATIONS FOR "KIDNEY SISTERS"

Sisters

THE Kidney sister convicts who were released from prison so one could give her kidney to the other have had a "complication" in their treatment.
The planned organ transplant cannot take place in until Gladys - who is giving up her kidney - quits smoking and she loses a combined 160lbs with her sister Jamie 
The pair had served 16 years of their life sentences for a robbery when they were released by Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour on the condition of their freedom that Gladys give a kidney to Jamie, who suffers from kidney failure.
Gladys had volunteered to do so.
Jamie Scott said Wednesday that a doctor said she has to lose
100 pounds to receive the transplant adding that would-be donor Gladys must lose 60 pounds and stop smoking.
Barbour hasn't said whether he'll send the sisters back to prison if the transplant doesn't happen.

IS THAT A CHAINSAW IN YOUR POCKET? OR.......

Oh Dear.

Painful

HE wasn't happy to see them, he genuinely was trying to conceal a stolen chainsaw in his trousers.
Cops say that instead of trying a grab it and run Anthony Black, who suprisingly enough appeared intoxicated at the time, came up with a more cunning plan to get away with the deadly saw. 
Taking it down from the wall he shoved it into his pants and tried to walk out as if nothing had happened. 
But while some shop staff thought he was handicapped, others were more suspicious of his noticeable waddle.

George Graham, who witnessed the incident said: "I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants."
"This is a little unique, simply because of how large the item was," Chickasha Police Assistant Chief Elip Moore explained.
Paul Horton, the hardware store's manager, added that it was" "the first time I've ever seen a chainsaw go down anyone's britches."

A limping Black was eventually chased from the store, ditching the chainsaw in the process and ended when he dived headfirst into a creek.

After fishing him out of the shallow water, he was arrested. 
"He could have cut himself up real good. He'd have been walking with a permanent limp," Graham explained. The chainsaw in question was eventually returned to the store.

JUDGE EASES RHIANNA'S RESTRAINING ORDER

Classy

Injured

R&B douchebag star Chris Brown has had his restraining order from Rhianna reduced from 50 to 10 yards after a judge downgraded it. 
The 21-year-old singer, who bit, beat and threw his ex-girlfriend from his car will now be able to stand nearer to her at industry events as long as he does not harass, threaten, assault or track her movements.
Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg commended Brown and his progress but said she would have never considered removing the stay-away provisions without Rhianna's consent and until Brown completed domestic violence
counseling.
The new order which remains in effect until August 2014 when Brown's probation is scheduled to end, he and Rihanna, whose real name is Robyn Fenty, can now see and speak to each other.
Rihanna is also allowed to record any threatening conversations with Brown and present them as further evidence to authorities.
Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault for the February 2009 pre-Grammy Awards party fight in which he repeatedly struck Rihanna.

JUDGE TO LINDSAY: YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL

JAILBOUND?

LINDSAY Lohan will go to jail again unless she is acquitted at her theft trial, a judge warned yesterday. 
"If you plead in front of me, you are going to jail, period," L.A County Superior Court Judge Keith Schwartz told Lohan during a hearing.
The troubled Mean Girls star was offered a plea deal by prosecutors, the terms of which were not disclosed, for the theft a $2500 necklace from a jewelry store.
 The judge told her:  "I get the impression you're not going to accept the DA's offer," adding that she would go to jail if she pleads guilty or no contest to the theft. 
Once again her lawyer Shawn Holley had said she would welcome a plea but only if it did not involve jail time.   
He told a previous hearing: "Ms. Lohan maintains her innocence, and now
that I've seen the police reports, I believe the case is entirely defensible."
It was Lohan's eighth court appearance in nine months - events that have spawned an atmosphere outside the court similar to the red carpet arrivals she used to enjoy before her acting career was derailed by her legal problems and stints in rehab.
The felony grand theft charge triggered a charge that she violated her probation for a 2007 drunk driving conviction.
She could face up to three years if convicted, or The judge could reduce the charge to a misdemeanor, which would carry a prison sentence of no more than one year.
END

LIGHT-FINGERED FATTY GOT STUCK IN STORE DOOR

Stuck

AN obese shoplifter was foiled when her motorized cart got stuck in the doors of the mall she was robbing. 
Jerrie Perkins, 30, loaded up with electronic good and tried to escape, setting the alarm in the process.
But she failed to take the doors into account and got stuck on her way out, setting the alarms off in the process.
When staff questioned her she got violent, attacking the store detective who promptly called the cops. 
A sheriff arrived, but the fatty was still for fighting, balling "her right hand into a fist and taking a fighting stance," according to the Sheriff's office. 
The deputy Tasered Perkins, who then complied with their commands and was taken to jail.
is charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.

Her bond was set at $15,000 by 52-3 District Magistrate Nick Camargo during arraignment Thursday.

COOKIE MONSTER BEHIND BARS

Cookie

Monster

COOKIE Monster Hersha Howard is now behind bars after she beat up her roommate over a delicious box of cookies. 

The brawl began after the 31-year-old confronted her pal over the Thin Mints bought from the Girl Scouts.  

But the roommate said she'd given them to her children. 

Howard wasn't having it though, even after the roommate offered to pay the $10 cost of them and set about her, giving her a severe beating. 

Cops said the roommate's husband pulled Howard off her so she could escape, but Howard took off after her, grabbing a pair of scissors and threatened the woman.

Dropped the scissors, picked up a board and hit the woman as she ran down the stairs, before trapping her and smashing her again. 
When cops arrived, they charged her with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
No word on what dessert was served in jail.

STORE MASCOT IN BIRD COSTUME ATTACKED

HAVE YOU HEARD? About the bird? Well, this is a bird of a different feather. A Katy, Texas store mascot dressed as a giant bird was attacked by two thugs outside the furniture emporium where he worked. The bird was injured in the attack. His costume was also ripped.
ACCORDING TO KTRK: 'Birdie' the mascot uses a little comedy to entice people into a southeast Houston furniture store on weekends, but it wasn't too funny when he was attacked during his shift Saturday.  
 "It felt like a truck hit me," said Russ Vogel.

"Getting us a lot of advertisement, people driving by, just stopping by, wanting to see what the bird is about," said Zeke Cervantez with
Exclusive Furniture.

 Vogel fingers movies and YouTube videos as the culprits. "I guess this is life imitates art, because there have been a couple of movies, where the guy is dressed as a burger and somebody comes by and body slams him and knocks him down," Vogel said.
MORE ON MASCOT MAYHEM HERE

MICKEY D-SASTER! STABS BEAU OVER McNUGGET

McNUTTS

THIRD PARTY

DON'T take Xiomarie Black's chicken McNuggets. Ever. Black, 20, and her boyfriend Edward Collado, 31, of Falmouth, Massachusetts were arrested after the peckish pair got in a knife fight. Cops say it was triggered when Collado tried to steal some of Black's McNuggets. That led to words. Then knives.
Black then fled in a car with two pals while Collado went to a nearby hotel and called cops.
"She apparently loves chicken
McNuggets and they had been fighting anyway," a source said. "When he stole her last McNuggets, that was the final straw and she just lost it."

ACCORDING TO THE CAPE COD TIMES: When the police picked up Collado and Black separately, Black had scratches from a knife on her chest and red marks on her neck consistent with strangulation, court records state. Collado had suffered a bite and a slash wound to his hand.

CHECK OUT THE CAPE COD TIMES FOR MORE