SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! THUG THINKS PINK...

OF COURSE, the big question is: why? What was dude channeling? Some bizarre, long forgotten Middle Age art form? Maybe it's just more simple than that: maybe it's about 'winning.'

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! NICE HEAD BUDDY!

SUMMER is time for America's game: Baseball. And it's very, very clear that this handsomely adorned gent is knocking hell out of the baseball that is life.

DRUNK DAD BILLY JOE MADDEN LETS BOY, 8, DRIVE CAR

TEACHING A boy to drive often falls to dad. It's just that usually they're closer to 16, not 8. Billy Joe Madden of Hattiesburg, Mississippi (where else) was hammered, according to cops, and so while he had a snooze he had his 8-year-old take over the driving while they traveled from Mississippi to Texas. He was doing the speed limit, Louisiana State Police said, adding he had to sit on the edge of his seat to reach the gas. His 4-year-old sister sat in the backseat. The child’s driving was apparently so erratic that it alarmed motorists, who called police.
His 28-year-old father--named Hattiesburg's best dad last year--was booked for child desertion and allowing a minor to drive. The vehicle was a green Chevy pick-up. Pretty dumb, huh?
DRUNK STUPID DAD ALLOWS BOY, 8, TO DRIVE

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WORDS quite simply fail us. What do you say about this guy? Are those real deformities? Is his head really that brutal or is just being a kidder and putting us all on. That's a mystery for the books.

ROBERT PHELAN SEX GROPED DEMENTIA PATIENT, 93

WELL, I think we can all agree there's a special place in hell for Robert J. 'Handsome Bob' Phelan. The twisted 6-year-old Oak Lawn, Illinois man has been charged with aggravated sexual assault. The victim? A 93-year-old woman who suffers from dementia. He was busted Sunday after a co-worker at Lexington Health Care spotted him diddling the whacked out oldster in her room. Phelan was a certified nursing assistant and had worked there for just under two weeks and "is no longer with the company."
A spokeswoman said: “We take appropriate measures in our hiring process, and follow state and federal regulations to ensure
the highest level of safety for all of our patients and residents. We are aware of the allegations and are fully cooperating with authorities, as well as conducting our own in-depth internal investigation." It was unknown where he previously worked. The 56-year-old man has no criminal record.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! THINGS ARE GREAT MOM!

YES, all sorts of things to be proud of, right? This guy is a poster boy for the whole Charlie Sheen ethos of 'Winning.' Happy. Confident. And Handsome? Hell yes!

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! HEADAS BRUTALIS

ON THIS sizzling July day that is baking most of North America we decided to pull out our old Latin text. File this guy under: loserus hugus or headas brutalis.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! 'I'M VERY SPECIAL'

WE PROBABLY shouldn't be quoting Charlie Sheen so much, but really, is their a better description of the man in the mug shot above than 'winning'? We think not. No idea what he did. Don't care. We just love the optics of this clearly, very special person. Thanks to The Smoking Gun

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! HEATH LEDGER CALLED...

CHARLIE SHEEN called it 'Winning.' Spencer Taylor, we believe, is ready to follow in the great thespian's footsteps. Again, not sure what he did and in lots of ways don't care, but that's quite a get up